Monday, May 30, 2011

Shopping as Relationship Building

An older gentleman sat down next to me in the courtyard of a mall this afternoon, and as he sat he let out a long sigh. A moment passed and he turned to me and exclaimed, "there should be a law against going to the mall with your wife!" I smiled back at him but in reality it is shopping excursions with your spouse that can be one of the best things for strengthening your relationship that you can do.

It does not have to be shopping outings necessarily but taking an active interest in what your spouse is interested in is a fundamental key for a successful marriage. Nothing could be easier than saying, "have a nice time and see you when you get home," but by doing so a person misses out on a significant opportunity to show, not just in words but with deeds, how much they care about their partner in life.

When someone asks their spouse to join them on an outing they are going on, it is not just because they want someone to hold their bags or find the parking space, it is because they value their time with you and want to journey with you as they do some of their enjoyable activities. If there was a contemporary Shulchan Aruch on maintaining a strong marriage, going shopping with your spouse would be considered an obligation expressed in the strongest language.

So the next time your wife or husband says "want to join me at the mall?" the answer should be an exuberant (or at least not kvetched) yes!