Real men collaborate

This past week I had a conversation with a colleague where we were discussing the "standard" things: the weather, West Wing episodes and where do we see our careers in 5 years from now. As we discussed the last subject it both occurred to us that we are amongst the first generation of men who can not make these decisions in a vacuum. Both of us have wives who are brilliant and talented and have their own career aspirations in addition to ours. While in previous generations questions like "where do you see yourself in 5 years?" could have been answered unilaterally that is not the case anymore.

How do I feel about this? It feels great. It is empowering, in a real and authentic way, to be in relationship with another person that is not dictatorial. Rather, decisions are shared and both people have a voice in the decision making process. Real strength comes from collaboration. Real men collaborate.

Is Judaism Boring?

Dr. Erica Brown in her recent opinion piece in The Jewish Week addresses the question of boredom and Judaism. Why do so many people find services boring? Shabbat meals boring? Torah study boring? Is there something inherent to the services, the meals, the study, the social action, etc that is boring or is it something else?

She writes in one of the most telling quotes from the article:

One of the reasons we fail to look within is that we blame others for our boredom. If a child is bored, it’s a parent’s fault. If school is dull, it must be the teacher. If shul is tedious, it’s probably the rabbi. The poet Dylan Thomas once said, “Something is boring me. I think it’s me.” When boredom strikes, it may be time to look in the mirror.

The first time I seriously thought about boredom was in a class with Eitzah: Center for Congregational Leadership. One of the directors of Eitzah, Dr. Bill Kahn, challenged us to seriously think about why we get bored. He pushed us to stop blaming the environment, the program, whatever but to rather look at ourselves. Dr. Kahn argued that boredom often times is a defense mechanism to protect us against whatever we are engaged with.

Ever since that class I have tried to assess the moments I get bored. Sometimes I get bored of assessing why I am bored but there are times when it leads me down a path of real reflection and introspection.

I wonder what a larger conversation with members of a synagogue or a Jewish organization would look like around boredom. Instead of ignoring the bored expressions of members, what would it be like to direct that boredom head on?

In any case, I highly recommend reading the whole piece by Dr. Brown. It is well written and quite thought provoking.

What is Jewish spirituality?

The following is a clip from Reuters about using Twitter to communicate to God. As you can see from the video the person who started the project does not look particularly religious. That fact led me to think further about the difference between religiosity and spirituality. Can one be spiritual without being religious? Does traditional Judaism recognize spirituality outside of the framework of the Torah?

Why I miss The Jewish Channel

It has been two weeks since my wife and I moved to Boston to begin our positions. We are in love with this city. The architecture is beautiful. The people are super friendly. The city has a real feeling of culture and history that permeates every aspect of this place. Yet, there is one thing missing: The Jewish Channel.

The Jewish Channel is a great on-demand TV network that runs on Time Warner, Cablevision and RCN amongst other providers. Anytime you want to watch a great Israeli film or curious what's the latest in the Jewish news, you can turn to The Jewish Channel and have that need satisfied. For example, one of the feature films now is "Jews and Buddhism: Belief Amended, Faith Revealed." How cool is that?

For some unknown reason though The Jewish Channel is not in Boston on Comcast. It needs to be. In the meantime I'll have to do with just watching the weekly (and shorter) online version of the week in review.

Parshat Re'eh: Thought for the Week Podcast

Parshat Re'eh 5769: Thought for the Week

Want to get married? You seem a little young...

As I was busy in my office today preparing shiurim for this coming academic year, I get a phone call from the receptionist saying that there is a young couple in the lobby looking to get married. I look at my calendar. It can't be the couple I am marrying in a few months from now. I am not meeting them until next week. Who could it be? I take out a notepad and a pen and head to the lobby.

When I get to the lobby I notice that there are 3 adults and about 6 five year old children waiting for me. I wonder, who is looking to get married? Two of the adults introduce me to two of the children and tell me that these two very children are the ones looking to get married. I look at them incredulously until after a moment the adults told me they are teachers at a school and the kids are going on a field trip through the neighborhood learning about what they are interested in from "experts" in the various areas.

One child previously, they tell me, was interested in doing pedicures so they want to a nail salon and learned about pedicures. And now these two children are interested in marriage so they have come to a rabbi to learn about marriage.

Suffice it to say that everyday is a new adventure in the rabbinate.

A Prayer for the Slain and Injured at the Gay Community Center in Tel Aviv

by Rabbi Dov Linzer

This prayer expresses grief and sorrow over the horrific and murderous attack at the gay Community Center in Tel Aviv on August 1, 2009 and the heightened sense of responsibility and obligation that all Jews and communities, across the denominations, must share in response. This tfillah was recited in numerous synagogues on Shabbat Parshat Ekev (August 8, 2009), both Orthodox and non-Orthodox, and was delivered at an interdenominational memorial and tehillim service at the JCC of Manhattan on Monday night, August 10, 2009.

מי שברך אבותינו אברהם יצחק ויעקב ואמותנו שרה רבקה רחל ולאה, הוא יברך וירפא את החולים והחולות שנפגעו
בפיגוע החבלני והרצחני בתל אביב, בארצנו הקדושה, בעבור שאנחנו מתפללים בעבורם. בשכר זה, הקב"ה ימלא
רחמים עליהם, להחלים ולרפאותם, ולהחזיקם ולהחיותם, וישלח להם מהרה רפואה שלמה מן השמים, בתוך שאר חולי
ישראל, רפואת הנפש ורפואת הגוף, שבת היא מלזעוק ורפואה קרובה לבא. השתא בעגלא ובזמן קריב ונאמר אמן.

Master of the Universe, watch over the souls of the slain and bring healing to those who were injured in the violent and murderous attack in Tel Aviv in our Holy Land. See how not only the bodies, but the souls and lives of these persons have been shattered. See how this support group for teenagers - this place which for many of them was their one refuge of protection, support, and acceptance - how this haven has now been violated and has now become a place of danger, of vulnerability, and of death. Heal their bodies, heal their souls and heal their spirits.

O Lord, you have taught us in Your Torah the mitzvah of the עגלה ערופה . You have taught us that when a person is murdered and it is not known who the murder is, or what the motives are behind the murder, that it is the leaders of the community who must look inward and ask what sins of commission or omission could have possibly contributed to this tragedy. Who among us in the Jewish people, whatever our denomination or affiliation, can say ידינו לא שפכו את הדם הזה, that we have done everything in our ability to protect against such a tragedy? Who among us, throughout the Jewish people, can say, לא ראינוהו ופטרנוהו בלא מזונות ובלא לויה, that we did everything in our power to ensure that these victims were cared for physically and emotionally, to ensure that we gave them friendship and protection? O Lord, we cannot make this declaration of innocence.

Master of the Universe, give us the courage to stand up to and reject all forms of hateful speech and violence. Give us the strength of spirit to refuse to tolerate the rejection of any human being, each of whom is created in בצלם א- לוהים, in Your Divine image. Help us to internalize in our hearts and to manifest in our actions the mandate of the verse in this week’s parsha ואהבתם את הגר כי גרים הייתם בארץ מצרים, that it is our responsibility to care for, to love, and to protect all members of our society, and in particular those who are most vulnerable and most likely to feel estranged and rejected. Help us to value every member of our society for whom he or she is, to care for them, to support them, and to recognize that they are an equal part of our community כגיהיה. Give us the strength to fully actualize – in our speech and in our actions – the maxim that כל ישראל ערבים זה בזה , that the entirety of the Jewish people, straight and gay, is interwoven with and responsible for every one of its members.

We cannot change the past, but we can work to change the future, so we pray, O Lord, that You accept our mourning and our prayers, and give us the strength to change. We pray that we can make the necessary sacrifices to live up to our obligations to You and to every human being who is created in Your image, and that this can bring partial atonement for the,דם נקי בקרב עמך ישראל for the innocent blood that has been shed and allowed to have been shed in the midst of Your people, of Israel.

כפר לעמך ישראל , Atone for Your people, O Lord, bring us healing, a healing of persons, a healing of society, help us create a society where all are protected, cared for, and valued, and let no innocent blood ever again be spilled. Now and speedily in our days, and let us say, Amen.

One Wedding = Two Conversions

A couple is getting married and the non-Jewish partner decides to convert to Judaism. The other partner decides now is the time to become naturalized as an American citizen. The result is two distinct systems, two different processes and two unique bureaucracies to navigate and in the end there are two conversions.